


We Dream in the Dark (For the Most Part)

by angelsdemonsducks



Series: rise up [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Anxiety Attacks, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Texting, aaron has some issues to work through, alex is trying to be a good friend, he mostly succeeds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 22:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11045514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsdemonsducks/pseuds/angelsdemonsducks
Summary: So, it starts like this: he considers quitting.(Or, the one in which Aaron is not entirely okay with the situation he's been put into.)





	We Dream in the Dark (For the Most Part)

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, so it's only been, what almost four months since I updated this series?
> 
> ...Yep. Sorry about that. On the bright side, I am now on summer break, so there'll hopefully be at least a few updates during the next few months.
> 
> Previously: Everybody is reincarnated (a normal thing in this universe). George Washington is running for President, and Alex has joined the campaign, dragging Burr along with him. The campaign has become a gathering point for former historical figures, bringing Eliza and John back into Alex's life and drawing the attention of others.

_Unknown Contact_ _10:36 AM_

And also, frankly, I think getting involved would be good for us.

 

 _You_ _11:04 AM_

Alex?

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _11:07 AM_

You’re not Adri, are you.

 

 _You_ _11:08 AM_

I’m afraid not.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _11:08 AM_

Oh. Sorry to bother you then!

 

 _You_ _11:10_

It’s no trouble at all

 

* * *

So, it starts like this: more than half of the people here are giving him the cold shoulder.

He is fairly sure that this is Angelica’s influence; she is not subtle in her dislike for him, and everyone else is emulating her. Not that he can blame them. Angelica Church, or Schuyler, or Smith or whatever she’s going by now is certainly a woman to aspire to be like. He just wishes that this wasn’t the result.

And of course, he can hardly blame her, can he? Her dislike for him is well-deserved. He killed her brother-in-law, and before that, their relationship was hardly a smooth one. He winces every time he thinks of that one time he tried to flirt with her, such a long time ago. She hadn’t been about to put up with any of that, as he found out very quickly.

There are other factors, though. Factors like Washington’s chilly disdain, though the man is too professional to let it show overly much. And then there is the suspicion that comes after he begins to prove his use; he handles the press with a deft hand, but his ability to give information without actually saying much of anything at all is raising a few eyebrows, both inside the campaign and out.

He mentions it to Alexander once, but he brushes it aside. “There are always going to be people like that,” he says. “No matter what you do.” He pauses, a gleam in his eye. “You wanna know what I would do?” he asks.

“I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”

Alex grins. “Fight ‘em. Or, you know, I can fight ‘em for you, if you want. If you’ll give me a direction.”

Which is, while the sentiment is appreciated, entirely unhelpful. He’s not about to set Alexander against his loved ones. That, he is sure, would make everything far worse than it is.

And besides, it’s not like Alexander has been around much anyway. He has dived into the campaign full steam ahead, and it’s difficult to bring him out of his writing long enough to have a conversation with him, much less talk to him about his problems.

He just wishes he could ignore the sinking feeling that Alex is the only person here who might care.

So, he does what he does best. Fixes a smile on his face and pretends he has his life together.

* * *

 

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _5:49 PM_

Hey, could you pick up something for dinner on your way back? Forgot to grab food. 

 

 _You_ _5:51 PM_

Still not Adri.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _5:51 PM_

Shoot, sorry.

 

 _You_ _5:51 PM_

It’s no problem.

 

* * *

So, it starts like this: he and Alex run into John Laurens in a coffee shop at six in the morning. Laurens is, unsurprisingly, unhappy to see him. Words get said, names get called, and through it all, he acts as nonchalant as he can, sipping at his coffee and hoping that his hands aren’t shaking as badly as he thinks they are, or at least that no one notices. Once Alex shoos him out, presumably so the two of them can get some alone time, he only makes it a couple of blocks before he has to stop and lean against the side of a building, his breaths coming in short gasps.

He’s never had a problem like this before. And yet, he knows what this is, can feel the anxiety rearing its ugly head and constricting his chest.

He closes his eyes and lets it wash over him, waits for it to pass. It takes longer than he hoped for, but he is eventually able to pick himself up and continue on his way to their hotel, nodding at the security as he flashes his ID.

It takes a few moments for Washington to approach him.

“Where’s Hamilton?” he asks, because of course he doesn’t want anything from him. Of course he’s only concerned about the location of his favorite poster child.

He thought he was over this. Apparently not.

“We ran into John Laurens when we went for coffee,” he tells him, and tries not to react to the surprise that flashes in his eyes. “I suspect that Hamilton will be a while.” And he extracts himself after that, because the suspicion in Washington’s eyes, the suspicion present whenever he looks at him, is beginning to wear him down the the core. _What does he expect me to do? Shoot him again?_

_Even if I were so inclined, I would never do it so obviously._

He tries to pretend that the implied insult to his intelligence is what bothers him the most.

He almost succeeds.

* * *

 

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _2:20 PM_

If I drink, I die. If I eat, I am fine. What am I?

 

 

 _You_ _2:23 PM_

I’m still not Adri.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _2:23 PM_

Oh, I know.

Adri’s sitting next to me and glaring because I’m not paying attention to the meeting.

But I’m bored stiff.

 

 _You_ _2:25 PM_

Is it an important meeting?

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _2:26 PM_

There’s a racist old white guy trying to talk at me, so probably not.

I’m waiting for the opportune moment to shut him down.

 

 _You_ _2:29 PM_

So you’re texting a stranger in the meantime?

For all you know, I could also be a racist old white guy.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _2:30 PM_

Are you?

 

 _You_ _2:30 PM_

No.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _2:30 PM_

Well then, it’s all alright, isn’t it.

If you don’t like riddles, we could do something else.

Exchange dirty gossip about people at work?

You still there?

Hello?

I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable. That was not my intention.

 

 _You_ _2:57 PM_

It’s fine. It’s just

I would rather not discuss work, if that’s alright with you.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _2:58 PM_

Oh! That’s fine! I really am sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.

 

 _You_ _3:00 PM_

Fire.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _3:00 PM_

Pardon?

 

 _You_ _3:00 PM_

The riddle. It’s fire, isn’t it?

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _3:01 PM_

Right in one. :)

Your turn!

 

* * *

So, it starts like this: he considers quitting.

Not very often, admittedly, but every time it crosses his mind, he gives the thought due consideration. It’s not that he particularly wants to leave the campaign; this is a cause worth fighting for, after all, and he truly does believe he’s doing some good. But these borderline-hostile working conditions were not what he signed up for, and after doing some quick and quiet googling, he is now certain it was an anxiety attack he had that day that Laurens and Eliza arrived, and he doesn’t think it was the first one that’s happened since joining the campaign.

He, unlike some people he could name, knows when to put his own health and safety as his first priority. And the fact is, this hadn’t been a problem for him until after he joined the campaign.

But at the same time, he imagines what Alex’s face would look like if he walked away. Even if he explained his reasoning, he might not understand, might still see his choice as Aaron Burr deciding to turn his back on yet another Worthy Cause, Aaron Burr once again refusing to commit himself to a side.

As if. He’s too deeply entrenched in this affair to pull himself out now. He’s made a name for himself as Washington’s top press secretary, and there are whispers floating that he’s a shoo-in for the official title if they make it to the White House. As if Washington is actually going to keep him around once that happens. Nevertheless, those rumors would make it impossible for him to pull out without causing a stir, and that kind of trouble is exactly what the campaign doesn’t need right now. Not with their position being as tenuous as it is.

So. He stays.

 _Talk less, smile more,_ he thinks, simultaneously gratified and annoyed that the musical has him pegged so well. Regardless of its source, though, it’s sound advice, and it has served him well. He smiles throughout every conference, every press release, every interaction between himself and other people. And for the most part, it works. No one notices anything is wrong, and he himself begins to believe everything is alright.

And if, sometimes, the urge to walk out the door is almost overwhelming? He keeps that to himself.

* * *

 

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _10:24 PM_

I hate politics.

 

 _You_ _10:25 PM_

I’m sorry?

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _10:25 PM_

No, that’s not quite right. I don’t hate politics.

I mean, I do, but

I’m a black woman in politics and I hate the people I’m surrounded by.

 

 _You_ _10:30 PM_

Do you regret it then?

Going into politics, I mean.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _10:32 PM_

No

I feel like I’m doing good things.

But at the same time I’m surrounded by all the bad things too.

Like, I campaign against racism, but walk right back into a building where I have angry white people trying to tell me what I can and can’t do.

I mean, I got elected, and you’d think that would be enough to prove I’m competent

But no

 

 _You_ _10:41 PM_

I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _10:43 PM_

No one should. That’s the point.

Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try, your efforts still result in nothing?

 

 _You_ _11:04 PM_

Yeah, I relate.

 

* * *

So, it starts like this: he is trying to contain the latest small fire to break out when Eliza takes him by the arm and leads him out into the hallway. He almost drops his phone in surprise at the sudden contact; she has been here for several weeks already and they have barely exchanged words. Which, he thinks, was better than some of the alternatives, and he really was perfectly content to leave it at that, but it seems like he’s not going to get his wish.

“Are you talking to anyone about this?” she asks quietly, her eyes dark and intense as she looks at him. He resists the urge to yank his arm out of her grasp and move away.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” he tells her, but she just shakes her head.

“I know a fake smile when I see one, Aaron,” she says, and even as his stomach drops into his feet, he takes a moment to reflect on the way she said his name. It is the first time, he thinks, that she has ever called him by his first name, and he is surprised to find that he doesn’t mind at all. “I’ve worn my fair share of them,” she continues, regarding him with a gaze that is far too penetrating for his liking. “So please, don’t try to talk around this.”

For a moment, he considers doing just that. But he decides against it. He has too much respect for her to make the attempt, and even if he did, he doubts she would let it go.

“No one else has noticed anything,” he says instead, cautiously, trying to gauge her reaction.

“I’m sure they would if you dropped the mask for more than two seconds at a time,” she replies sharply.

He doesn’t have a reply to this; he’s not sure that she’s right, but he senses that arguing would not help his situation.

“I’m dealing with it fine,” he says instead, and she narrows her eyes.

“Somehow,” she says, “I doubt that,” and this has officially become a conversation he wants no part in.

“I have a meeting to return to,” he tries, and feels relief when his voice comes out strong and sure. And it’s not like he’s lying. Still, he feels like Eliza sees right through him, which is why he is surprised when she doesn’t press.

“Then I won’t keep you,” she says instead. “But you do realize you’re not alone here, right? You have friends, people you can talk to. I know Alex, for one, would listen, and the others would as well.”

Yes, well. He _knows_ that, he really does. And yet, he has never had a habit of oversharing. Has never had a habit of revealing his emotions, or at least, not unless such a disclosure benefitted him. At this point, he wonders if he should even bother. “I’ll admit, you’re the last person I’d expect to hear this from,” he tells her, and watches as her face softens. She reaches out and brushes her fingers across his arm and briefly squeezes his hand before stepping back. He wishes he could hide the way he stiffens at the contact.

“I forgave you a long time ago,” she says, casually, as if she has not just rocked his entire world. “Something I’ve learned over the past half-century is that holding on to anger doesn’t do anyone any good. I hated you for a while, and I disliked you for even longer, but I think our presence here proves that the past can be left in the past, don’t you agree?”

He doesn’t reply. How can he? He can barely figure out what she means by any of it. Does she mean here as in the campaign or here as in on the earth? And if she’s using past tense, does that mean that she no longer dislikes him? And if so, why not?

She seems to see his confusion. Somehow. “Just think about it,” she tells him, and she walks away, her heels clicking loudly in a hallway that is otherwise suddenly all too quiet. He stares after her, unsure of what to do now.

If there’s one thing he knows now, though, it’s that Eliza is a far better person than someone like Alexander could ever deserve.

* * *

 

 

 _You_ _12:30 AM_

What do you do when you’re confused by coworkers?

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _12:42 AM_

Jesus christ do you know what time it is

 

 _You_ _12:43 AM_

Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _12:44 AM_

No, go on, this is the first time youve initiated and I am now intrigueg

intrigued*

 

 _You_ _12:46 AM_

It’s just that I thought all of my coworkers hated me.

It turn out that might not be the case?

And…

I really don’t know what to do with that?

What would you do if you were me?

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _12:55 AM_

Wow ok that sounds complicated

And also like you have a few issues there

But like, I would try to get to know them better?

Maybe spend some time with them, hang out more?

If they dont hate, you, then youll be friends

If they do then theyre assholes

 

 _You_ _1:02 AM_

…

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _1:03 AM_

Sorry if that didnt make sense, im not at my best at 3 in the morning

But id say just try

You cant really go wrong wit h that

 

 _You_ _1:08 AM_

...Thank you.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _1:09 AM_

Sure no prob but i am now getting another 3 hrs of sleep good night :)

 

 _You_ _1:10 AM_

Good night.

 

* * *

 So, it goes on like this: Eliza must say something to someone, because suddenly, it’s like nobody hates him anymore.

Oh, they’re not all best friends, not by any means. But the frosty looks and ill-concealed muttering have slowed to a trickle, and he is no longer the subject of everyone’s antagonistic glares.

And then, as the icing on top of the cake, John Laurens invites him out for drinks.

“You want to what,” he says flatly. He thinks he can be excused his reaction, because seriously, Laurens has hardly been subtle about his dislike for him.

Laurens sighs and rolls his eyes, as if he’s the one who’s being contrary. “We’re all having a night on the town,” he says, “and you’re coming.” He pauses for a moment. “Actually, we’re not having a night on the town, because we need to keep up public image, and that apparently means we can’t go bar hopping. So we’re having a night in and getting… probably not completely drunk but tipsy at least.”

This explains almost nothing. “And I am coming to this why?” he reiterates.

Laurens crosses his arms. “Mostly because we’ve managed to drag Alex away from his writing and he wants you there. For some reason. Also, you really need to loosen up a little. Not my words,” he interjects at Aaron’s raised eyebrow. “Okay, maybe a little bit my words, but seriously. Do you ever have fun?”

“I’ll have you know I’m the life of the party,” he says dryly, and to his surprise, Laurens laughs. Only a little bit, but it’s definitely audible. Definitely present. His mouth goes a bit dry.

“Sure you are,” Laurens snorts, and there is a challenge gleaming in his eye when he says, “Prove it.”

Well then.

So that is how Aaron finds himself enjoying ‘a night on the town’ with people who mostly don’t particularly like him, and surprisingly enough, he actually does enjoy it. Here is what he learns: Laurens has a tendency to jump on the table and shout things when he’s got more than a few in him. Angelica is just as quick-witted when she’s drunk; she just also happens to be ten times more dirty-minded. Eliza is mostly quiet, except for a few times when Alexander says something ridiculous and she just. Shuts him down in that way that only she is capable of doing. And Alex… well, Alex is Alex, just as he’s always been. Though after the first few beers, he develops an interesting inclination toward speaking like it’s still the 1800s.

He’s pretty sure the Washingtons drop in at one point, though by that time of the night, everything is rather hazy.

He also thinks there was karaoke. Possibly.

He wakes up in his own bed nursing a monster of a hangover and also the realization that he has another press release scheduled at noon. Who thought this was a good idea again?

And yet, Laurens smirks at him the next time they cross paths, smirks rather than glares, and somehow, that makes it feel like the ill-advised endeavor was worth it after all.

* * *

 

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _3:44 PM_

So, were you drunk last night?

 

 _You_ _3:46 PM_

...What did I do?

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _3:47 PM_

Check your call logs.

 

 _You_ _3:51 PM_

I called you?

Damn. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.

I hope I didn’t bother you.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _3:52 PM_

Don’t worry about it.

It was actually pretty funny. :)

You sounded like you were having fun.

 

 _You_ _3:54 PM_

Actually, yes, from what I can remember.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _3:54 PM_

Coworker problems sort themselves out?

 

 _You_ _3:56 PM_

...I think I’m getting there.

 

* * *

So, it goes on like this: they are all having a meeting and generally continuing to confuse the hell out of the people present who aren’t reincarnated from their time, when people burst into the room and everything devolves into absolute chaos.

The people turn out to be Peggy Schuyler, Hercules Mulligan, and the Marquis de Lafayette.

Needless to say, they don’t get anything else done during the meeting. Because Peggy is being enthusiastically glomped by her sisters and Lafayette doesn’t seem like he’s going to let go of the General anytime soon and Mulligan and Laurens are catching up enthusiastically and there are hugs and backslaps and smiles all around.

And Peggy slaps Alex, which is an enjoyable sight to witness. She then proceeds to rail at him for a good fifteen minutes about all his shortcomings while he sinks further and further into his seat, a look of contrition on his face. Her sisters look on in approval. While he doesn’t remember Peggy all that well from their previous time, he has to admit that he is already developing a healthy amount of respect for her. Anyone who can silence Alexander Hamilton for more than two minutes gets automatic points in his book.

And for the next few minutes, Aaron is content to sit and watch and listen to the others. This is how he learns, how he assesses any situation, and his efforts are rewarded. He learns that the three of them are still in college, that Lafayette uses they/them pronouns now (and both Peggy and Mulligan glare daggers at anyone who looks like they might protest, not that anyone here would), that Peggy is wearing red, white and blue because she thinks that Washington running for President again is both the best and funniest thing to happen in this lifetime.

And then Alex says something ridiculous, and Aaron finds himself laughing, actually laughing, and there is attention on him now, but he finds that he doesn’t mind. He gets a lifted eyebrow from Lafayette and pursed lips from Peggy and an unreadable glance from Mulligan, and he wonders if they even realized that he was in the room earlier. But Alex grins at him, happy and content, and any tension that might have gathered in the air dissipates.

For once, Aaron is relaxed.

* * *

 

 

 _You_ _4:07 PM_

so who is this

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _4:07 PM_

Pardon?

 

 _You_ _4:08 PM_

sorry this isnt aaron

he keeps looking at his phone and grinning so i have taken it from him for the greater good

its actually kinda scary

so who are you and howre you making him smile like this

i must know for reasons

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _4:10 PM_

I assume you’re one of the coworkers?

 

 _You_ _4:10 PM_

ah so youve heard of me!!!!

yes im alex aka the best one

wait what has he been saying about me

its all flithy lies i promise you

filthy*

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _4:12 PM_

Oh, I’m sure.

 

 _You_ _4:13 PM_

for reals thofadha j airal;kkfl

Sorry about that. Alex doesn’t know when to quit.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _4:13 PM_

He seems like an interesting guy.

 

 _You_ _4:14 PM_

...You have no idea.

 

* * *

 So, it all keeps moving along like this: Aaron snatches his phone back from Alex with a glare and fires off a quick apology to the person on the other end. They are both sitting on Aaron’s hotel room bed, Alex having barged in and flung his stuff everywhere without bothering to ask first. Though, he would be lying if he said he minded. This is a familiar configuration; they used to work like this back at the law firm, when they could. They are always better when they can bounce ideas off of each other.

Unless, of course, something like this happens.

“That,” he says with a frown, “was completely unnecessary.”

Alex shrugs, completely unapologetic. “You weren’t telling me anything,” he says, as if that’s a good excuse for his behavior. Aaron grits his teeth.

“Yes, because it was a private conversation I was having on _my_ phone. Or do I need to clear that with you first?” He returns to his work in silence, though he’s almost done with preparations for the upcoming press conference. It will be no different from the conferences before that; sometimes it feels like it’s all an endless cycle. He gets up, avoids answering too many questions while still leaving them satisfied, and goes back inside to prepare for the next day. Rinse, cycle, repeat.

A few minutes pass.

“Sorry,” Alex mutters, and it startles Aaron enough to make him look up. “I just…” he shakes his head and closes his laptop. “You actually look happy when you’re talking to this mystery person, and… I’ve been noticing more and more lately, that you don’t? Actually look happy most of the time? And I haven’t been able to figure out how to change that.”

He stares, because he honestly hadn’t thought that Alex noticed.

Alex shrugs. “Yeah, I mean, I know I’m not the greatest at noticing stuff like that, especially not when I’m, y’know--” He gestures at his laptop--  “working, but I’m trying. And… you know we’re friends, right? And I want you to be happy. Even if--” He hesitates-- “even if you felt like you needed to leave in order for that to happen, then I’d be okay with that, y’know? Because… I want you here, I really, really do, but I shouldn’t force you to stay if that’s not what you want. And it has occurred to me that I dragged you out here in the first place, so if there’s anyone who should be paying attention to what you want, it’s me.”

Aaron continues to stare, because no, he didn’t know. And now he feels like a jackass for assuming that Alexander would be angry if he left. That has been how it worked in the past, to be sure, but they are different people now, both of them older and wiser for their experiences, and their friendship is tighter, more secure than anything they ever managed to build in the past.

Alex really is trying. So, so can he.

“It... hasn’t always been great, here,” he admits, speaking slowly as he works out what to say. “I’ll admit that readily enough. But things have been better recently, I think, and I don’t want to walk out on this.” _I don’t want to walk out on you,_ is what he leaves unspoken, and he wonders if Alex can hear it.

He is rewarded with a smile-- a small one, but no less genuine for it. “I’m glad,” Alex replies. “But, hey, let me know if that changes, alright? You can talk to me.”

“I will,” he promises, and he means it.

So they both settle in back to work, clacking away at laptops and taking phone calls of varying importance, and the silence between them is companionable and comforting.

In this moment, at least, there is no place he would rather be.

* * *

 

 

 _You_ _10:45 PM_

Also, I think Alex mentioned this, so I might as well. I don’t think I’ve ever actually introduced myself?

My name is Aaron.

 

 _Unknown Contact_ _10:52 PM_

My name’s Tiana.

It’s very nice to meet you, Aaron.

 

 _You_ _10:53 PM_

Likewise.

Tiana.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm pretty sure it's obvious who Aaron's been texting (ain't the world a remarkable place?), but I seem to have encountered a dilemma. The original plans were for me to continue on and have Aaron/Theodosia. But now my heart also wants me to have Aaron/Alex/Eliza/John and I no longer know what to do. So! What do you guys think? (I mean, at this point I'd be fine with either, and Theo is coming in and playing a major role no matter what just fyi that is not changing.)
> 
> Next up: We are introduced to Washington's pick for VP, and things go fantastically.
> 
> Edit 8/20/17: Alright, two things. One, I've decided to keep Aaron/Theo and Alex/Eliza/John just the way they are, for the sake of not getting too complicated. Thanks so much for all the feedback on that, I really appreciate it a lot! The second thing is that, unfortunately, I'm officially putting this series on hiatus. It should be temporary, because finishing this is still important to me, but the thing is that right now I have zero enthusiasm for writing for this series, and I neither want to half-ass anything not stress out about it. Thus, hiatus. I'm really sorry. With any luck, I'll be able to update here again. I just don't think it'll be any time soon. Again, I'm really sorry. Thanks for understanding.


End file.
